I pay child support, but I don’t see the child. what to do?

Sent 13 December 2012 - 15:30

Good afternoon.
We were in a civil marriage and separated when the child was 4.5 years old.
Paid alimony under a verbal agreement.
THEN the child’s mother (MR) filed for alimony, and according to the court’s decision, she paid as expected. A year ago (my son was 13 years old), MR called and asked to take him to her place, saying she was tired.
Took away.
The son does not return to her and does not intend to. On January 29 it will be a year since he lives with me. Now my son is already 14, it’s time to get a passport... At that time, she again filed a complaint with the bailiffs that I did not pay child support.
I visited the bailiffs and explained that my son lives with me, so I won’t pay. They are not shaking, but I understand that this needs to be resolved through the courts. Is it possible to cancel a court decision to pay alimony from the moment my son lives with me? What legal provisions must be referred to?

Sent 14 December 2012 - 08:49

Hello. Counter question: will the child’s mother agree to sign an agreement that the child lives with you? It doesn’t even need to be notarized. Just write one line on a piece of paper, and that’s it, as long as she signs it. Option two: if she doesn’t sign, file a lawsuit. The child will confirm in court that he actually lives with you and wants to continue living with you, and the trial will proceed normally. In the claim, you can immediately indicate three demands: 1) determine the place of residence of the child with the father; 2) stop collecting alimony under such and such a writ of execution; 3) exempt from paying alimony debt for such and such a period (last year). If the child’s mother signs an agreement on the child’s place of residence with you, then only the second and third requirement will remain (stop current alimony, release from debt). And the jurisdiction will change (the magistrate will judge).

If you need to file a claim, write. Conditions here: Drawing up claims remotely

Sent 16 December 2012 - 14:05

Good afternoon.
Good question.
The answer is 50/50. Depending on your mood. Those. it should be written: “I, Ivanova A.A. Born 1988 I don’t object to my son living with his father Ivanov N.N.” Date, signature. So? In court, will they make a decision if she fails to appear? This is more than a possible option. What evidence base, other than the words of the child, must be on my part to win the case? Testimony of witnesses, guardianship authorities?

Sent 16 December 2012 - 18:09

Those. it should be written: “I, Ivanova A.A. Born 1988 I don’t object to my son living with his father Ivanov N.N.” Date, signature.

Yes. The text is arbitrary, the main thing is that the expression of will is visible.

In court, will they make a decision if she fails to appear?

Yes, they will make a default judgment.

What evidence base, other than the words of the child, must be on my part to win the case? Testimony of witnesses, guardianship authorities?

Yes, all this will need to be provided. It would be enough.

Sent 04 April 2013 — 11:57

Hello. Tell me what the right thing to do is. My husband has a daughter from his first marriage. The ex-wife cannot properly look after the child. She makes it a fact that they take the child with her, we are all for it. But she doesn’t want to write or sign anything that the child will live with the father .In addition, he wants to file for alimony. But the daughter must live with us. She herself doesn’t even work. What should I do?

Sent 04 April 2013 — 19:43

Hello. You need to decide whether you are ready to accept this child for permanent residence. Accordingly, it is necessary to evaluate the evidence that could be presented to the court, whether it is sufficient and whether it is weighty. Is your daughter turning 10? Does she herself want to live with her father? We need to study all this carefully. If the court determines the child’s place of residence with the father, then the mother will not be able to collect alimony, but on the contrary, the father will be able to collect alimony from her.

Sent April 22, 2013 — 19:10

Sent April 23, 2013 - 08:00

Hello.

Article 83 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation: 2. The amount of a fixed sum of money is determined by the court based on the maximum possible preservation of the child’s previous level of support, taking into account the financial and marital status of the parties and other noteworthy circumstances.

3. If there are children with each of the parents, the amount of alimony from one of the parents in favor of the other, less wealthy one, is determined in a fixed amount of money, collected monthly and determined by the court in accordance with paragraph 2 of this article.

Sent 14 June 2013 - 22:13

Good day!
Please tell me, my first wife and I are divorced and she moved to live in the Far East. At first I took both children, but then the eldest wanted to live with me and my new wife. He doesn’t want to go back to his mother, but she demands that we send him to her. He has been living with us for 9 months. The second son, the youngest, lives with her. I have been paying alimony all this time for two children, that is, a third of all income. Now my new wife is pregnant and we will no longer be able to give that amount of money. We submitted an application to our City Court to officially determine the place of residence of the eldest child with his father, to cancel or reduce the amount of alimony. The application was first accepted, then after 2 months they called me and said that I had to submit it at the defendant’s place of residence. Is this really true? My wife is about to give birth, and they are charging me a lot of money, although my ex-wife and I are raising one child each. Is it possible to separately apply for the cancellation of alimony? How can you do it as quickly as possible, because if you file a claim in the Far East, the consideration of the case will drag on for at least six months. Thank you.

Sent 07 October 2013 — 08:16

Hello. In this situation, I would apply for the cancellation of child support for one child. The claim is submitted to the magistrate at the place of residence of the defendant, the period for consideration by law = 1 month. You can, of course, appeal and delay it, but here it’s “ce la vie.”

Sent 25 November 2015 - 07:33

Hello. I am the mother of a boy who went with his father to a new family. According to the guardianship agreement, a decision was made that the child lives with his father for 5 days, and with his mother on weekends and vacations. But the agreement is not fulfilled. I do not see the child. On the phone He doesn't answer calls.

Apparently the father has set it up. Now the father has filed for alimony against the mother. But her salary will not be enough, with the protection of alimony to pay for utilities, a loan (jointly taken out during marriage). What to do? Where to go for help if the mother does not have livelihood.

  

Sent 25 November 2015 - 07:55

Hello.

You did not write what specific alimony is collected from the mother. 

If the shares are (14), then this is the standard amount that the court collects from everyone, on the fly. And the court is not interested in how much money the alimony provider will have left for personal living.

If alimony is a fixed amount, then the amount is set individually, taking into account earnings. 

Sent 29 June 2016 - 10:00

My son lives with his father, and I provide for him, how to collect child support arrears

Sent 01 July 2016 — 18:09

Hello.

Understood nothing. 

If the son lives with his father, then what kind of debt are we talking about? Who owes whom?

Sent 04 September 2016 — 13:06

Hello!

The situation is as follows: there is a father, mother and a 10-year-old child. The mother and father are divorced, the father pays child support, but the child lives with his father of his own free will. The mother is not going to write a refusal and lose the money that she spends on herself for her beloved and it is convenient for her so that the child does not get in the way and lives with the father. I, as my father’s partner, am naturally against such “charity.”  

Is it even possible to sue the child’s father against her and force her to pay child support? Is this even real? What to do in such a situation?

Sent 04 September 2016 — 15:27

Good day
If this situation is permanent, then I recommend that you file a claim in court in order to terminate child support obligations and determine the child’s place of residence with the father, and then you can file a claim in court to collect alimony from the child’s mother.
As follows from the explanations contained in paragraph.

16 Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation dated October 25.

1996 No. 9 “On the application by courts of the Family Code of the Russian Federation when considering cases of establishing paternity and the collection of alimony” if, during the execution of a court order or court decision to collect alimony, the child for whom they were awarded went to be raised and supported by the parent paying for him alimony, and the claimant has not refused to receive it, exemption from further payment of alimony is made not by way of execution of the decision, but by filing a corresponding claim by this parent, since by virtue of the law, issues of collecting alimony and exemption from its payment in the event of a dispute are resolved by the court in the manner claim proceedings.

I was glad to help you, good luck!

Lawyer Smurkov Maxim Igorevich, St. Petersburg (protection of your rights in the courts of St. Petersburg and Leningrad Region).

Sent 04 September 2016 — 23:45

Hello, thank you!

But as far as I know, the court usually always sides with the mother. It will not be possible to deprive her of parental rights because (she is working, adequate, with an apartment) the child simply does not want to live with her... What must be provided or prepared for the father to file a claim? What are the chances that in this situation his child support obligations will be lifted and the child will be officially transferred into his custody?

Sent 05 September 2016 — 20:43

Hello! But you do not need to deprive her of parental rights, but go to court with a claim to release the father from paying alimony and determine the child’s place of residence. By virtue of Art.

65 of the RF IC, the into account the child’s attachment to each of the parents, brothers and sisters, the child’s age, moral and other personal qualities of the parents, the relationship existing between each parent and the child, the possibility of creating conditions for the child’s upbringing and development (occupation, parents’ working hours, parents’ financial and marital status, etc. ) Since the child is 10 years old, his opinion will be taken into account.

Sent 06 September 2016 — 09:01

The chances are good. 

The court must provide evidence that the child lives with the father. 

And the case is proven. 

Sent 14 September 2016 - 20:11

Good afternoon. I'm from Novouralsk. Do you work with out-of-towners?

Page 2

Deprivation of parental rights: grounds for which father and mother are deprived of parental rights | Legal Advice

Last updated February 2023

Deprivation of parental rights is a legislative method of influencing parents if they use their status to the detriment of the child (Article 69 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation contains all the grounds under which deprivation of parental rights can occur).

Also, this process applies to persons officially identified as the child’s parents, that is, their data is recorded in the child’s birth certificate.

A person who has received parental authority, after passing a test to establish paternity, is deprived of it in accordance with the general procedure (to establish paternity with the consent of the person, the norms of clause 4 of Art.

48 of the RF IC, the court establishes paternity based on the norms of Art. 49 RF IC).

Provided that there is more than one child in the family, deprivation of parental rights is applied individually to each of them, taking into account all interests. A one-time deprivation of rights for all children of a family is unacceptable.

Before depriving parents of their rights, it is necessary to establish two facts:

• Before this, all methods were tried to correct the behavior of parents in the direction of improving their attitude and conditions for the child. Explanatory conversations were held, perhaps the guardianship and trusteeship authorities issued a warning, there were conversations with police officers, support and comprehensive assistance was received. But the result of the behavior did not change;
• Obvious and provable guilt of the parent.

If there are such facts and grounds, a lawsuit is filed and the court has no choice but to deprive the mother, father, or both, of parental rights (Article 77 of the RF IC establishes the possibility of the guardianship and trusteeship authority to take the child from the parents, until a court decision on deprivation of parental rights , taking into account the danger to the health or life of the child).

Ground 1: Parents do not fulfill their responsibilities

A study of judicial practice indicates that evasion consists of regular failure to fulfill parental obligations, elementary ignorance of the basic needs of the child, such as food, clothing, medical care. Also, there are cases of a child being involved in situations that have a detrimental effect on his upbringing - drunkenness, immorality, lack of respect for older people, ridicule of the disabled, and so on.

Often, regular communication with people who have alcohol or drug addiction leads a child to commit acts of an immoral nature: humiliating the weak, insulting elders, petty hooliganism, and sometimes committing criminal acts.

In the text of paragraph 1 of Art. 69 of the RF IC mentions malicious evasion of paying alimony, which is an example of evasion from fulfilling the duties of a parent.

To accept such a fact as grounds for deprivation of parental rights, it does not necessarily have to be recognized as a criminal offense under Article 157 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation:

• it is important to have regular payment evasion
• delay in payment
• incorrect amount of alimony
• creating obstacles to obtaining them

If a parent is unable to pay child support for reasons that cannot be overcome, this fact is not considered by the court to deprive the parents of their rights.

Ground 2: Refusal to pick up a child from medical institutions or social organizations

It should be understood that the refusal must be made at the will of the parents. If parents, due to insurmountable circumstances (severe illness, disability, unfitness or lack of housing), cannot pick up the child, then this is not considered grounds for deprivation of parental rights.

Example: If a single mother leaves her child in the maternity hospital without good reason, without intending to place him in a family for guardianship or in the appropriate government agency, then this fact is considered grounds for deprivation of parental rights.

Ground 3: Parents abuse their rights

This circumstance is based on the fact of the parent’s dominance over the child, his powerlessness before being forced to perform any actions: drinking alcohol, drugs, forced begging or forced prostitution. Practice shows that such pressure from parents on children is systemic and over time turns into exploitation of the child.

Often, it is very difficult to prove the guilt of parents on this basis, therefore the provisions of Art. 73 of the RF IC “Limitation of parental rights.”

Ground 4: Child Abuse

This circumstance is characterized by violence against children: physical, including sexual and mental. Physical violence is the regular, deliberate infliction of bodily harm on a child, regardless of the degree of severity and method of infliction. Mental violence can be in the form of deliberate imposition of feelings of fear, suppression of will, and threats.

If one of the relatives exercises physical or mental violent influence on the child, but the parents do not oppose this, a restriction of parental rights may be applied to them under Art. 73 IC RF.

Ground 5: Parents are chronically ill with alcoholism or drug addiction

These diseases are severe and completely suppress a person’s will. Therefore, parents are physically unable to fulfill their duties, and the child finds himself in a situation that is dangerous to his life and health. The presence of chronic stages of the above diseases must be confirmed by a medical report.

There is a definite difference between chronic alcoholism and drunkenness. Drunkenness does not imply psychological dependence on the use of alcoholic beverages, despite the regularity of their use. In this case, it is necessary to turn to the first reason.

Ground 6: Committing an intentional crime against a child or spouse

In this case, a crime means not only violence in its physical manifestation, but also the fact of an attempt, ignoring the danger to a child, incitement to suicide, etc.

If the crime is committed against the second spouse, the child does not have to be a witness.

To deprive a person of his parental rights on this basis, a court verdict on committing a crime against a child or spouse is required.

Restriction of parental rights

When considering a claim, the court decides why a father or mother can be deprived of parental rights and why their rights can be limited. Some of the grounds for deprivation of rights may also serve to limit them. But basically, restrictions on parental rights occur due to reasons beyond the control of the parents themselves.

These are cases in which there is a danger to the child’s life, for example, illness or mental disorder of the parents. Sometimes restriction of parental rights is chosen as a preventive measure for parents, with a deadline set for correction.

Deprivation of rights, as well as restrictions, applies only to parents. Persons replacing them cannot be deprived of parental rights. They go through a different procedure.

Consequences of deprivation and restriction of parental rights

A person who is deprived of the right of a parent loses the opportunity to have any influence on the future life of the child, on benefits associated with the child, on social benefits and inheritance. Sometimes, by court decision, parents can be evicted from a municipal apartment without providing alternative housing.

A person who has received restriction of parental rights lives separately from his children and does not participate in their upbringing and receipt of social benefits and benefits. At the same time, parents are required to pay child support. With the consent of the guardians, parents can see the child, provided that the meetings do not have a detrimental effect on his upbringing.

What does it take to terminate parental rights?

Deprivation and restriction of the rights of parents occurs by court decision. To do this, a corresponding claim is filed in the court located at the place of residence of the parent who is the defendant.

The claim and all additional documents, in the case of deprivation of parental rights, can be filed: by the second spouse, regardless of the fact of living with the child; a person who replaces a parent; employee of the prosecutor's office; employee of the bodies protecting the rights of minors. There are known cases of children themselves filing a claim.

A claim for restriction of parental rights can be filed by:

• Closest relatives of the child or parents: brother or sister, grandmother, grandfather.
• Bodies involved in the protection of children's rights;
• Preschool and general education institutions;
• Health care and social protection institutions;
• Prosecutor's office.

Ordinartsev Roman Valerievich

Share your child carefully!

How often such lawsuits are filed by Belarusian fathers in order to sue their son or daughter from their ex-wife, how and what decisions are made in this regard, Lidiya Vasilievna Lupaeva, a lawyer at the Minsk Regional Legal Consultation N3, told.

In law

“We consider such cases quite rarely. Fathers apply rather in exceptional cases. For example, a wife drinks, leads an immoral lifestyle, simply abandoned her children...

When filing a lawsuit, a man must prove why his ex-wife should not raise the child. Lawyers make a request to the district inspector, who can confirm or deny the plaintiff’s accusations. The district police officer gives a written answer about whether the family is safe, whether the mother was brought to administrative responsibility, and if “yes,” for what exactly.

The Department of Education under the district administration is also involved in the process, whose employees find out in what conditions the father and mother live, what kind of relationships are in the “duet” of child-mother, child-father. Relatives, neighbors, teachers, etc. give their testimony.

Employees of the Education Department make a written conclusion and submit it to the court, which primarily takes into account the interests of the child. When it is confirmed that a woman does not pay attention to her son (daughter), does not raise him - in a word, does not fulfill her parental obligations, the claim is satisfied. The child remains to live with the father, and the mother is now obliged to pay child support.

No reason

“It happens that there are no grounds for a positive court decision in favor of the father. The mother is a normal person, quite capable of raising and financially supporting the child.

…If there are two children in a family and both parents claim to have them stay with him/her, then usually the judge comes to a decision: one for dad, the other for mom.

Don't bring it to court

- During a divorce, before or after it, ex-spouses can enter into an official document - an Agreement on Children. This is a mutual compromise that is formalized by a notary.

It indicates with whom and in whose living space the children will live, how much alimony will be paid (less than the amount established by law is not allowed, more is welcome), how often, when and where the other parent will see the child.

Other nuances of the issue that are important for former spouses, who, meanwhile, have not ceased to be parents, are also established legally. If people cannot agree without disputes and conflicts, then they go to court.

Ask a child

— When the “reason for the dispute”—the son or daughter—is already 10 years old, the court asks the child who he wants to stay with. He is summoned to court and questioned in the presence of an educational psychologist.

When a child is older, he understands a lot, it’s easier with him. Not so with kids...

It happens (and quite often) that parents turn their children against each other. Or they begin to actively shower him with gifts, make promises, make some concessions... But not because they love him very much and do not want to part with him, but out of a desire to “annoy” his ex-half.

To spite the “enemy”!

— When one of the parties considers itself deceived and abandoned, any goals are used as “retribution,” even the most unseemly ones. The division of the child begins “out of principle.” Setting up a son or daughter against her husband (wife). And here the child is not a goal, but a means! But he loves both dad and mom, so he receives psychological trauma in this situation.

When this happens, it is worth taking the child to a psychologist who, after talking with him, will draw conclusions and give a written conclusion - he will determine his true relationship with each of the parents. In addition, it will help the baby survive a difficult period for him.

Who is richer?

“The father can decide: I am a wealthy person, with me the child will not need anything: he will receive all the best - clothes, education, quality rest. What can his mother give him..?

Meanwhile, the parents' income level does not affect the court's decision. Let’s say the mother has a modest salary, the father has a very large income in comparison. But for this reason alone they will not give him his son or daughter.

According to the resolution of the plenum of the Supreme Court of the Republic of Belarus dated September 10, 2004 No. 11 “On the practice of courts considering disputes related to the upbringing of children”: “The advantage in the financial and living situation of one of the parents in itself is not an unconditional basis for transferring a child to him for upbringing "

You have been denied!

— According to the law, the rights of both parents are absolutely equal. The final decision of the court on which parent the child stays with is influenced by many circumstances. Let’s say the father often goes on business trips due to his job responsibilities, then the court’s decision will not be in his favor. After all, due to objective circumstances, he will not be physically able to cope with parental responsibilities.

But mostly...

— If the parents are normal people who, for some reason, cannot agree on the future fate of the child, more often, by court decision, he remains with the mother.

This practice has already developed. Perhaps this is the Slavic mentality, which dictates that the priority parent for a child is always the mother. It is possible that such a decision is influenced by the fact that the majority of our judges are women.

But this is also a certain element of distrust of men. Unfortunately, due to our line of work, we often encounter situations where men leave their families, and then don’t even want to know about their children, and don’t pay child support. What tricks do they go to in order to not give the child the legal 25% of their income... As if they are giving these funds not to their son or daughter, but to their wife. Lawyers handle many cases involving non-payment of alimony.

But, of course, there are also very good fathers, unlike their ex-wives, whose instinct of motherhood cannot be awakened either by educational conversations or calls to conscience.

Article 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, assistance to a divorced father

How to fight for your rights?

DIVORCE
Since you have children, you will have to get a divorce through the courts. And if the ex-wife does not lead an antisocial lifestyle... the court will 95% leave the child to her. But even this first court hearing can be used to your advantage.

Firstly, you need to indicate to the court that you (if this is true) are against divorce ! You strive to save your family, thinking about the well-being of your children. That is, you need to show that you are a serious family man who is not inclined to give in to emotions, preferring to wait until they cool down.

Secondly, at the trial it is necessary to emphasize your role in raising your children.

State that you are engaged in shopping, children's leisure, going to hospitals, spending money on the best teachers... In general, in the minutes of the court hearing there should be a phrase stating that you did not avoid raising children and actively participated in the life of the family .

Thirdly, you must petition the court to determine the procedure for exercising your parental rights. Just think clearly about where, when and how you will exercise your rights; Are you planning to vacation abroad with your child? how often are you going to take him to your parents, etc.

ALIMONY

The golden and unshakable rule is to fix all the money for the child . You cannot believe in the personal qualities of your ex-wife! A receipt, a check, a postal order, tickets, sanatorium vouchers, insurance - you need any evidence that you are regularly spending money on your child.

WRONG SPENDING OF ALIMONY

Many fathers write with indignation and powerlessness that their ex-wife spends alimony on herself and not on the child. But wait to be indignant. Agree that such a sensitive issue requires strong evidence of your words. Still, you do not live with the child and may not be aware of many expenses.

If you really can prove that the mother is spending child support irresponsibly, you will face a difficult and unlikely successful legal battle. You will need to request: a certificate of income of your ex-wife; act of inspection of living conditions; a certificate of your listed alimony, a report from the mother on expenses for the child. And perhaps, in accordance with Art.

60 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, the court will make a decision on your right to transfer 50% of alimony to the child’s account (the bank account is opened after the decision is made).

But just before the start of the court hearing, take the trouble to collect strong evidence of repeated misappropriation of alimony! Otherwise, if you lose, you will look like a litigator who is looking for any reason for a “showdown”...

This topic is discussed in detail here.

MEETINGS WITH A CHILD

The main recommendation is to try to visit a wide range of people with him .
Your parents, friends, child psychologists - everyone should see that you do not just communicate with the child, but have established good family relationships with him. Testimony from those who saw you with your child will be very helpful during court proceedings. Do not criticize the mother in front of the child , do not speak disdainfully or mockingly about her.
On the contrary, try to remember the best moments of your relationship with her. Give your child money for a gift for his mother (if he asks), you can remind him about the upcoming birthday or March 8 (“What have you prepared for your mother?”) It’s good if the three of you manage to go somewhere together .
For example, invite a mother and child to celebrate your birthday, go to a citywide holiday, etc. All this will serve you well in court, where it will become obvious that you are truly responsible for communicating with your child, and indeed you a non-conflict, friendly, unforgiving person. Don't forget to go to school and visit your child in the hospital .
No one has the right to prohibit you from doing this! The Family Code specifically stipulates that a parent living separately from a child has the right to receive information about him from educational, medical and other institutions. At school, communicate not only with the child, but also with his teacher.
Find out about behavior, academic performance; find out when you can come to the parent meeting; check if the school requires financial support from parents. Please note that sometimes the staff tries to prevent you from meeting your child (the result of the mother’s efforts). Maintain complete composure, remind about the Family Code, offer the option that the meeting take place in the presence of a teacher or doctor.

And lastly , what to do if a mother turns her child against you?
If by the time you arrive he is already bawling and muttering the usual “I don’t want to go with you..”, and then disappears out the door? This is a very difficult situation. You can try to gently restrain the child with the question “Why don’t you want to walk with me? How have I offended you? You can come with a bailiff (if you have a court order for meetings with your child). In addition, you can request a psychological examination. Sometimes it is better to retreat for a while - after all, the main thing is that the child’s psyche does not suffer.

This topic is discussed in detail here.
An example of a request for examination is at the end of this topic.

• WHAT TO BUY?
• NOT A STEP WITHOUT A CAMERA
• In addition, such a camera will allow you to record threats against you from your ex-wife. Just remember clearly that the law prohibits a private person from engaging in operational investigative activities :) Therefore, you can use recording equipment only on your territory (for example, in a hotel room), or in a public place (for example, in a park, where you are walking with your child, “ forgot to turn off the camera and it captured your scandalous wife in all her glory)
• "I" IS THE LAST LETTER OF THE ALPHABET

Cakes, ice cream and attractions are, of course, good things.
But clearly not enough. In anticipation of the upcoming legal battles, you need to spend money on: 1. Insurance against accidents, encephalitis
2. Consultations with a child psychologist
3. Discs with children's educational programs and films
4. “Smart toys” (for the development of motor skills, logic, creative imagination, etc.
5. Books, coloring books, puzzles
6. Trips to the skating rink, swimming pools, puppet theater
7. Lessons with a tutor
8. Treatment in dispensaries and sanatoriums Saved payment documents will help you prove in court the degree of your parental responsibility
. You will immediately destroy the image of the “Sunday dad” who receives a clean, healthy child for the weekend, walks with him in the park and returns him to his mother’s everyday life. In general, you will get rid of the image of a “freeloader” :) I strongly recommend that you purchase a digital camera with audio and video recording capabilities.
As an example - Canon PowerShot SX 10 (or Canon PowerShot S5, Canon PowerShot SX1) Capture the best moments of your meetings with your child! Create a special folder where you will sort your footage by date and location. All this is documentary evidence that will be useful to you in court. Fathers usually get angry in front of officials, indignant at the violation of their rights. This is, of course, correct. But such a position sometimes causes rejection, causing people to see you as an egoist or an extremely ambitious person.

Remember that in addition to your interests, you are also protecting the rights of the child ! If he strives to communicate with you, bombards you with SMS, gives you homemade cards - how can you prevent your meetings?

The Family Code of the Russian Federation (Article 55) directly states: “In the event of separation of parents, the child has the right to communicate with each of them. A child has the right to communicate with his parents also if they live in different states.” The same article asserts the child’s right to “... communicate with both parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters and other relatives. The dissolution of the parents’ marriage, its recognition as invalid, or the parents’ separation do not affect the rights of the child.”

Whose rights are you still defending? Let's say your wife is offended by you and won't give you a child. But why should grandparents suffer? Why do they lose their rights because of the willfulness of their former daughter-in-law?

And one last thing. It’s definitely worth “Yaking” only in one case – remembering your responsibilities . The Family Code of the Russian Federation (Article 63) states that parents are obliged to raise their children. (“Parents are responsible for the upbringing and development of their children. They are obliged to take care of the health, physical, mental, spiritual and moral development of their children. Parents have a priority right to raise their children over all other persons...”) Thus, the mother is not allowing you to meet with your child actually prevents you from fulfilling your responsibilities. And for this you may well be punished! And they will punish you, if desired. If you haven’t seen your child for six months, and you haven’t paid child support, you can already declare in court that you are not interested in the child’s life and do not support him financially - and this is very bad in the eyes of the judge... So use this article of the Family Code to your advantage. Show yourself as a person with a high level of legal awareness. Go to guardianship, write applications to the court with the same question: why are you not allowed to fulfill your duties?! This already smacks of legal nihilism on the part of the mother - and in modern conditions this is not welcome...

MOTHER DOES NOT LIVE WITH CHILD

Another unfortunately common situation. Having received the right to live with the child by court, the young mother... dumps him on the parents’ necks. And she herself begins to enthusiastically arrange her personal life. As a rule, your alimony payments in this case go exactly to this purpose. And the child is dressed and fed by the mother and father of the ex-wife...

What to do? In fact, this situation is your trump card . If the child is more or less happy with his grandparents, let him live with them for now.

You write registered letters to your ex-wife, where you tactfully but firmly convince her to fulfill her parental responsibilities. Let him not answer, let him swear at you on the phone - it doesn’t matter anymore.

You will need copies of the letters in court, helping to outline the moral character of the alimony recipient.

But six months after the correspondence, you can safely go to guardianship and demand “... the return of the child from any person who is not keeping him on the basis of the law or on the basis of a court decision.” This is what is written in Art. 68 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation. It is this document that establishes the priority right of parents “... to raise their children over all other persons” (Article 63). You will need to prove that the mother is not actually involved in raising the child, sees him extremely rarely, does not buy him things and food, does not go to school meetings, does not lie with him in hospitals, etc. You must convincingly show that the ex-wife does not want to use the right to raise a child that was won from you. And you, as a responsible parent, want to regain this right. This won't be easy. It is not enough to prove that the mother is not raising the child. You need to convince the court that you can replace her in this field. And here everything will be taken into account - your living conditions, earnings, moral character... But even if you lose the trial, the documents incriminating your spouse will still not be superfluous in subsequent proceedings.

1. FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED
2. He bribes the child with gifts
3. He sees the child irregularly, traumatizing him with the fact that the meeting did not take place.
4. He builds his communication only in the way that is convenient for him
5. He has a bad influence on the child - he returns in a bad mood, cries, is insolent, is rude, and behaves aggressively
6. The child himself does not want to see his dad
7. He's a drunk, a psycho, a criminal!
8. ACTION SCHEME
9. IF YOU FAIL
10. Do not despair.

Below are typical accusations against divorced fathers from ex-wives.
Be mentally prepared for them by preparing a reasoned, calm objection. Don’t get carried away with ice cream and toys, buy things that contribute to the comprehensive, harmonious development of the child.
Here the mother is right - indeed, it is better to see each other less often, but without missing meetings
. Ask your ex-wife in advance how you can help her in caring for the child, where it is worth replacing her and in general – how best to distribute parental responsibilities.
Even cold silence in response to such questions is already good. At trial, you will have the right to say that you tried to rationally distribute mutual responsibilities. But... Where is the evidence?
Did a psychologist talk to the child? Why I handed the mother a happy baby - here is a photo taken 10 minutes before! -Did he start crying at his mother’s? Again - where is the objective evidence?)
(Answer - I am not registered with a psychiatrist, narcologist or police department. And I also have a certificate from my place of work stating that I am a non-conflict and sociable employee. Coming to the end, let’s sketch out a general outline of your actions in the relationship with your ex-wife.
• The mother does not allow you to see the child - write her a couple of registered letters demanding that she stop breaking the law. Offer to conclude an agreement on the procedure for your meetings with the child. Through a law office, send a claim to your ex-wife and again offer to conclude an agreement.
• You have achieved nothing - you go to guardianship. Explain the situation, give them a statement and your draft “Agreement on the procedure for the exercise of parental rights by a parent living separately from the child,” in which you indicate the schedule of meetings you want, their place, duration, etc.
• You have achieved nothing (or the custody agreement has become grossly violated) - you go to court with a claim about the procedure for exercising parental rights by a parent living separately from the child.
The operative part of the claim must contain your desired schedule of meetings, their place, duration, etc. (“... oblige the Defendant to provide the Plaintiff with the right to see the child... there... at such and such a time"). Do not try to state TOO many demands in a claim, in the hope that they will give “at least something.” Be realistic - when bringing your claim, try to determine whether it infringes on the interests of the mother. For example, it is stupid to demand that you be given ALL days off. After all, a mother also has the right to count on at least half of the days off to spend with her child. Provide all evidence that you have all the conditions to take the child with you: normal living conditions (confirmed by the conclusion of guardianship); normal work hours (or there is someone with whom the child will be while you are at work); positive characteristics from work and place of residence; certificate of earnings. Unfortunately, fathers are often shocked by court decisions on their claims. Sometimes the order of communication is established in such a way that it actually deprives you of the opportunity to be present in the child’s life. I say this with a court decision in hand that generously grants me the right to see my child once a week... And this despite the fact that we are separated by 600 km! And we need to meet not just anywhere, but in that small Siberian village where my daughter lives. And I can only see her from 10.00 to 17.00... I won’t lie - at first I wanted to give up. After all, for almost three years everything was wonderful with my daughter: she came to me for the spring, winter and summer holidays and I could have a real influence on her upbringing. Everything was wonderful - until the mother sent her daughter to live with her grandmother. To a small Siberian village... And so, literally a month later, the local guardianship stated that... “the girl does not want to see me often and stay with me for a long time.” At the trial I was speechless when I heard this. And nothing helped - neither a printout of incoming calls from my daughter (120 per year), nor 2 GB of photographs and videos documenting her holiday with me. The receipts that we exchanged with my ex-wife at the time the child was handed over to her did not help either (it states that the mother has no claims against me). Well... the court's decision must be respected. Moreover, if the post office delivers it later than the deadline set for filing an appeal :) Nothing. I have the right to file a new claim at least every year, based on newly discovered circumstances. In the meantime... While I am writing letters to my daughter. And I bought her envelopes so that she would answer me. I made a soft toy for her with my own hands. I printed pocket calendars of my daughter and I. I will record my songs and fairy tales I have invented on a disc for her. And I’ll come up with a bunch of other little things that will constantly remind me that dad didn’t forget her and didn’t abandon her.

As I close this conversation, I would like to say the following: be patient and kind.
Yes - be kind to a woman who spits on her child, wanting to annoy you. According to some unknown laws, such behavior will hit the ex-wife. Life will punish her, have no doubt.

And fate does not need help at all in the form of your curses, curses and shaking your fists.
Remember that you are involved in raising a child without even seeing him. This is also difficult to explain. But if you are truly patient and kind, the child will feel it.

He will understand this years later and despite the fact that he was constantly treated with lies by his ex-wife and mother-in-law.
I wish you patience, good luck and love for the life that gave you such a miracle - your own child! And even if sometimes luck turns away from you, don’t despair.

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